If you’re similar to me, you may have encountered a disconcerting situation recently, often in seemingly innocuous settings like a gym or a supermarket. Initially, you engage in what appears to be a normal conversation with another individual, but then things take an unexpected turn.
This scenario unfolded for me recently. I reached out to the customer service department to obtain an estimate for our vehicle repair costs. However, the conversation hit a sudden pause.
“Hello? Are you still there?” I inquired.
A prolonged silence ensued.
“Yes, I am still present,” came the eventual response.
At that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder where the representative had disappeared to during those 20 seconds of complete silence. I was tempted to question the abrupt interruption in our dialogue. Isn’t it peculiar to abruptly disengage from a conversation with a customer midway through?
Despite my inclination to address the issue with the customer service representative, I decided to let it slide. Nevertheless, this particular encounter, along with similar instances, prompted me to formulate a hypothesis. I’ve coined it the Chatbot Paradox: As artificial intelligence advances its conversational capabilities, human interpersonal skills seem to regress.
I’m not alone in recognizing this trend. Recent research suggests that due to their extensive online interactions, younger individuals are at risk of losing the ability to interpret nonverbal emotional cues effectively. Yalda Uhls, the lead author of a study conducted by UCLA’s Children’s Digital Media Center, highlighted this concern, emphasizing that virtual communication lacks the depth of in-person interactions crucial for developing essential social skills.
This insight resonates with our recent publication, “Hidden in Plain Sight: Communication Secrets You’re Overlooking,” co-authored by Randy Walton and me. We introduce the concept of the “at bat” strategy, drawing parallels between this term in baseball, where each turn at bat presents an opportunity to score, and the development of interpersonal skills.
We argue that just as repeated at-bats enhance a player’s performance in baseball, consistent practice and refinement of interpersonal skills can transform individuals into adept communicators and empathetic listeners. Conversely, insufficient social interaction can lead to a decline in social aptitude, akin to losing a skill due to lack of practice.
This trend is particularly concerning as our reliance on digital communication platforms—such as texting, video calls, and messaging apps—increases, limiting face-to-face interactions that were once commonplace. In contrast, AI is constantly honing its conversational abilities by engaging with individuals across various domains, from sales to customer service.
The disparity in social interaction between humans and AI raises intriguing questions about the future landscape of communication. While the prospect of AI mastering social skills may seem both remarkable and unsettling, it also presents an opportunity for us to enhance our own interpersonal capabilities.
In our book, we delve into strategies for acquiring AI-like communication proficiency. Notable figures in the tech industry, such as historian Yuval Harari, suggest that AI and big data already possess a deep understanding of human behavior, surpassing our own self-awareness.
For instance, the ability of platforms like Facebook to predict pregnancies before individuals themselves are aware exemplifies the profound insights AI can glean from data analysis. This revelation underscores the urgency for humans to adapt and improve their communication skills to remain competitive in a rapidly evolving job market influenced by AI advancements.
To bridge this gap, we propose a four-step approach to cultivating people skills inspired by AI’s learning methods:
Step 1: Cultivate Pattern Awareness
Recognize recurring behavioral patterns that may hinder effective communication, such as reacting defensively to questions, and strive to modify these responses.
Step 2: Experiment with New Approaches
Challenge ingrained behaviors by adopting alternative perspectives and responses in social interactions to foster positive outcomes.
Step 3: Assess and Adapt
Evaluate the impact of these new approaches on social interactions and adjust your communication style accordingly to reinforce constructive patterns.
Step 4: Consistent Reinforcement
Consolidate newfound communication strategies through regular practice to develop a natural proficiency in interpersonal dynamics, akin to building muscle memory.
By embracing this iterative learning process, individuals can evolve into more adept communicators, akin to an upgraded version of themselves—referred to as the “2.0 model” in the realm of interpersonal skills. This transformation mirrors the adaptive nature of AI, constantly refining its algorithms to enhance performance.
In conclusion, unlike AI, human growth necessitates embracing discomfort as a catalyst for personal development. By approaching social challenges with a sense of curiosity and resilience, individuals can navigate unfamiliar situations with confidence and agility, much like a child learning to crawl without fear of failure.
In essence, the convergence of human adaptability and AI innovation offers a compelling narrative for the future of communication—one where continuous learning and flexibility pave the way for enhanced social interactions and professional success.
